I am in a vortex of obligation.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize