we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
