this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
