I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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