You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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