too bad you live with your parents still
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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