for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
