So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
