I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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