i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
