Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
