Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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