Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
