found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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