I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
