Sponge bath it is.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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