The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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