That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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