i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
