arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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