I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
