Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
