I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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