Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
