i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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