i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
