we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
