I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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