turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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