Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
