The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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