Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
