The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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