i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize