i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
