A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
