No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
