My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
