I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
