Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
