I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize