I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
