Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
