Nicole vs. Life
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize