i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need to calm my uterus...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
