coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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