how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
