halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
