you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
