Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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