Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
