the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
