she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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