One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
