my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
