I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
