i jhust puked up my retainher.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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