You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
