Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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