...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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